A couple of nights ago as I was getting ready to go to bed, I heard a train going by. Derrick had been asleep for hours, but somehow he has supersonic ears and I guess the train woke him. I heard, "Mommy, Mommy." Strangely, I was excited to hear his little voice calling my name over the monitor at 1 am.
I tiptoed up the stairs, quietly closed the gate, and opened his door. There he sat, holding DD right under his nose with one had, reaching for me with the other. Neither of us said a word as I picked him up and took him to his chair to rock.
He was back asleep almost immediately, but I couldn't help but stay for a while. It's been so long since I held him sleeping. It was such a perfect moment for a not-so-perfect day. His little legs were curled under his body, his head on my shoulder, and his freshly cut hair soft but spiky against my cheek. His breathing was slow and steady, obvious that he was good and asleep, letting out a little whimper after every few breaths.
We just rocked; my mind going through the past two years of his life and the emotions that holding him in that chair brings. I kept wrapping my arms a little tighter around his sleeping body snuggled in DD.
I finally decided to put him back in bed. I knew he would wake up, and as I laid him down in his bed he sleepily opened his eyes and said, "DD." I had to do "1,2,3, DD" and tuck DD around him. He pulled DD's satin ribbon right under his nose and I whispered to him, "I love you Cheeks."
"I wuv you," he said softly. And I closed the door.
He's growing up way too quickly. I don't know how many more times I'll be able to hold him in my lap and rock him back to sleep. I spend way too much time worried about doing way too many things that really don't matter, when right before my eyes both of my children are growing up so quickly.
I just don't want to miss, or forget, these precious moments.
|Derrick asleep on the couch (for the first time ever) waiting for a thunderstorm to pass.|